Damary was a missionary in Tamale in 2016-2019. We shared the same house. She is Indian, comes from a community centered city, and is an introvert. I am American, coming from an individualistic community, and an extrovert. How would we ever manage to get on? At first, it wasn’t easy. Our schedules were different, our foods were different, the way we wanted things done were different. But then we started praying together every evening. God used that to build a solid friendship. It was like He took away the things that made us so different and molded us together with what is the same. We both are forgiven and redeemed by God. We are both loved by God. We both have come here to serve God. We both wanted others to know God. That became our grounds of friendship. It just seemed simple after that. I started seeing things in Damary that I knew were my weaknesses and viceversa. I loved how God mixed our strengths and weakness to bring glory to His name.
Damary had a boyfriend, at that time, who was in Thailand serving as a missionary. They met with video calls and chats every day. They planned to marry in 2020. She asked if I would come. I promised! When she left in 2019, the plans were moving forward and then COVID hit. All the plans were pushed back and FINALLY…April of 2022, they were able to meet as two families and set a date.
Now, I needed to make good on that promise.
When I was trying to get a visa in the Accra India High Commission Office, I just missed the deadline. I begged them to allow me, and they did. They were not happy and made sure I knew they were doing me a favor. The Indian man said a few things I could not do. He mentioned one thing I had to do, that was to register with FRRO within 24 hours. Keep this in mind when you read PART 2. He actually said it a second time because it was very important. I nodded at everything he said because I was just so thankful, I was getting a visa!
The red is the state of Mizoram.
So, September 26-29 was traveling. I flew to Dubai and then to Delhi. Delhi to Kolkata. Kolkata to Aizawl. Aizawl we stayed 2 nights. I asked the immigration man in Delhi about registering and he said I had to do it, FRRO- Foreign Regional Registration Office. I met up with Damary in Delhi and a pastor and wife who were all traveling for programs in the USA. It was so great to see her!!! WOW. It has been 3 years. We still connect once a month to pray together but to see her face to face was joy! We stayed in Delhi for 20 hours and then went to Kolkata and on to Aizawl. While in Delhi I tried to do the online registration, but it would not submit. I had Damary also try but it would not submit. I did not know what to do, so, I left it. Aizawl is the district capital of her state. Her state is called MIZORAM. It is in the Very Very Northeast part of India. It is very close to Burma and Myanmar.
When we were collecting our luggage at the airport in Aizawl, I saw a sign that read FRRO. I saw immigration men and they waved me over. I was so relieved! I filled out a paper that I assumed was the registration. I said to Damary that it looks like I was able to register after all. Again, we will talk about that in part 2.
Aizawl…you guys, this city!! I don’t think there is any place like it. First off, there are mountains everywhere. Ok, not technically mountains, they are hills, but I will call them mountains. It was the end of the rainy season and everything was so green. It looked like the Blue Ridge Mountains in Tennessee. Stunning. Damary’s cousin, Marina (who was a missionary in S.Sudan), met us with the driver, Neipa (another cousin), at the airport.
The roads. Coming from the airport the road was windy and narrow. I kept taking pictures.
We stayed in Aizawl for Damary to run errands. All the shops are tight together. There are steep hills and curvy bends. People build on the hillsides. It is incredible. I was able to rent a dress, jewelry, and head piece for the wedding and I had to buy heels! Ei!! Marina also rented a dress and Damary got her last adjustments made to her gown.
We headed up to Siaha, Damary’s city, the home of the Mara. This drive…this drive you guys was supposed to be around 9 hours. But for us with rains, fog, bulldozers clearing the road from previous landslides, it took 15 hours! And it was hard to sleep because the roads were so windy. You would be sliding from side to side. Since I drive a lot in Ghana, I pride myself on driving and our driver Neipa did SOOOOOO WELL!! I don’t think I could’ve managed as well as he does. I was thankful. The roads seemed to me like the road you take in a National Park that is supposed to go around the park and go one way. Every so often on the narrow road there was a bit of land on one side so that when cars do pass one can move over a couple extra feet to get around each other. But don’t move over too far, you will go down a steep cliff. I did not want to show pictures to my mom. I think she would have freaked out.
But it was stunning. The views. I had praise boiling out of my heart for our Creator God! I nearly had tears in my eyes. Very majestic. The long car ride gave me time to catch up with Damary and talk with Marina. We stopped for tea many times. There are these little cafés where you can buy snacks and take a break. At the restaurants it was interesting that you would write down you order and hand it to the server. I liked that idea!
There was a big bridge. I was thinking we were only a couple hours away at this point, but it was actually 6 more hours until we reached home. The missionaries that came to this part of the world in 1905 wrote a book and he mentioned this river and bridge. They used the river to haul their belongings. From this area to their station was 6 days!!! I stopped complaining😊.
We got to Damary’s home at 9pm or sometime after that. Many people were waiting for us. I was so tired and overwhelmed with people greeting and shaking my hands, taking my luggage, and just being out of the car on my wobbly legs. Her uncle praised God for our safety, and I was surrounded with a time of prayer. I had tears spring in my eyes. Here are people, in the middle of nowhere, who love Jesus. My Jesus. That many years ago someone came and told them about Jesus who freed them from the hold of Satan. That someone came up this mountain to tell them. That someone gave up living in comfort to live on the side of a hill, climbing steep cliffs. I was overwhelmed. It was beautiful.
The house is several stories. I stayed with Damary’s Uncle and Auntie. I was treated like a queen. Damary’s family has a floor because her father is redoing their house and it is not done yet. It seemed like children and cousins abounded all over the place. It seemed like everyone was a brother or sister or cousin or auntie or uncle or some relative. I felt bad because I couldn’t remember everyone. My room was on the upper floor. It had a set of windows facing one way and another set facing another way so every morning I could go out on the balcony and look out on the mountains.
The time before the wedding was more than a couple weeks. In that time, I visited many families. I spoke at the church on youth night. I spoke to the women’s group who came to the house. Even though many of those ladies could not speak English there was a connection, a beautiful, one heart-one mind mentality. I then visited more people. How I love them! I went on walks. I went to town. I went to church with the help of clothes from sister Shebby. One family member took me to some shops to greet her friends. One week the church had programs and I joined a couple nights, though, I think I was more of a distraction! Again, I visited people. Damary and I spent time together talking too. A youth outing with games and a community talent show was also fun. It was a fast few weeks full of people. Oh, and lots of tea! Tea is served…I don’t know how many times a day. And if people come to visit you serve tea and if you go to visit you drink tea. One cousin, Uthei, who lived in the house, made the best tea, and he knew I just liked it black. Also the food…all of it…ok, maybe some bitter leaves were not the greatest, but everything else I really enjoyed. Rice is served at every meal.
One outing that made an impact on me was visiting the place where the first missionaries came. They arrived in 1905. I have been reading his story. WOW. At that time the Mara people were warriors and headhunters. The man and his wife came from London and did so much work. His granddaughter still lives at their site. I got to meet her. She is very weak. Her husband spoke to me and answered many of my questions. It was such an honor for me to go to this place. Their house that was built in 1914 has been well preserved. They still have it set up the way it was when they lived in it! The books, piano, teacups…all speak of a different time. It was amazing. All the hardships they went through. (I can’t imagine driving those mountains again and they climbed them!!) They stuck with it. They ran the race. They are even buried there. I was so humbled by their devotion to serve God no matter what. It has stuck with me since coming back to Ghana.
Damary’s fiancé, Akru came with his cousin Vibu a few days before the wedding. That seemed to make things more real. A wedding! It was really happening. Akru is from Nagaland which is another state. They speak a different language than the Mara people. Their lands are not so hilly they tell me. Damary and Akru had to do some engagement pics (and we joined in haha), they cooked a BBQ (tons of meat!), did the wedding rehearsal and it was Akru’s turn to visit all the relatives. Akru’s family arrived the night before the wedding. They also had an adventurous time on the roads. It took them three days of driving to get to Siaha. BUT, arrive they did. They first did the bride’s dowry. Damary’s family already discussed with Akru’s family on what needs to be given. It was a time of presentation. Damary said her family went easy on Akru because they know he is a missionary and does not have so much money😊. Akru brought long spears, a big gong and small gong, a trumpet, and gifts of money. Usually, many more gifts would be given but because they will go to Nagaland they don’t want to transport things. Envelopes of money were sufficient. I even got one! I said,” I am her big sister, I better get one.” HaHa
Then the day of the wedding… Marina was first to get her hair and make up done. The make up lady was there at 6am! The wedding was planned for 12. I also was thankful to have my hair and make up done, for the first time! I put on my rented purple dress and heels. Marina looked stunning but the star of the day was Damary (as it should be). She was the most beautiful I have ever seen her (and she always looks good).
The wedding was simple. It lasted about 45 minutes. After the wedding, we went into the reception hall, and they had cake (which somehow passed by me) and a time for pictures. I also gave a little speech for Damary and Akru. I didn’t cry!! A miracle!!
Some of the friends and family went up to the top of a mountain to take pictures. The view was great. It was special because there was a low hanging cloud that ended up being a beautiful backdrop. So many pictures of the bride and groom, family, kids, friends…I see that Damary is very much loved. That evening we put on relaxing clothes, ate good-good food and chilled. The ladies gave me a traditional cloth, a black wrap. It is beautiful. The whole night was relaxed. People came over, it was a big chillin’ party haha. Of course, people were always over! I loved it!
I hate when good things must come to an end. I was leaving with Marina the next day for Aizawl. I knew this would be the last time of seeing everyone. I was even packed so I could stay at Marina’s house that night. I cried when I hugged Auntie. She hosted me, made me feel so welcome, wouldn’t let me do anything in the house, and though we couldn’t speak we managed to communicate. Even now, my heart rejoices, and tears spring up when I think of them. I don’t know what it was about this trip except that they became family.
Before we got to Marina’s house we dropped Akru and Damary off at their hotel for the night. OHHHHH goodness, how Damary and I cried saying goodbye. She is a sister, one who I may not see again for many, many more years. She is so dear to me and Akru is a good man who will take care of her. I was definitely emotional. I was so blessed to share this day with them. I have no words for the privilege of being part of their day.
Then…of course…going back down the mountain!! Marina and I took a public car but it was only us, the driver and another passenger. This time it only took 14 hours😊. Marina had booked a cute place for us, and we slept soundly! It had a balcony and we could see the city lights at night. I left for the airport the next morning and Marina would travel the next day.
I flew from Aizawl to Kolkata and then to Mumbai. The south was a whole new world for me!
Mumbai. Let me save that for Part 2.
