not a leader

i don't want to be a leader. pretend i am saying it in a whiny voice, because i am saying it that way. it is not in me to lead. now, immediately i hear the christians around me saying,"it will be God working in you". yes, i know all that but at this point i still don't like it. i am not good at confrontation. and sometimes leaders need to confront. i like everyone being my friend. i like responsibility on someone else. (sigh)i had to organize music for a conference of missionaries and church leaders. it was stressful. some of it needed to be in french, some of it needed to have other singers and musicians, and all of the words needed to be up on a screen. i didn't like that responsibility. i didn't want to let anyone down. it was too much for me to handle. ok, ok, so there is a small part of me that looks back and says, "wow, God look at what you did!" but just a small part:)i have a group of young people in accra as associates, or shortermers who i lead. i feel for them. i am all over the place and forgetful and sometimes hypocritical. there really should be a better person to lead them. they are great. they put up with all my mindless chatter or mornings of not talking. they do all that they are asked. they work really hard. i really appreciate them and have come to love them. don't tell them i said that though.again, i see God using them. i see them flourishing in the space they have been called to serve in and i am humbled to be a part of it. it is good i think i can't do anything because God says, "duh, sherri, it's me, remember me". and He is who i remember.thanks God.