all i have to say i do stupid things.i am a missionary, which doesn't make me perfect. but that title makes me feel like i am not supposed to do anything wrong. it is a hard standard to live up to. and i think because that standard is hard, when i fail, i don't want to tell anyone, because "i am a missionary, and we are perfect". but no one has told me that. it is a weight i have put on myself. a stupid outlook on how i saw missionaries and since i can't think of a time one has failed like i did, therefore, i am the only one. which is such a lie of the devil i know that, but it still kicks a good hit.i am just angry. angry that i fell. angry that i can't go back and change things. angry that i expect myself to be perfect. angry that i was weak. i guess that all leads to angry that i am human! grrrr...

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