Of all the months I slack off from posting…so many things have happened. In a nutshell: I went to Chiana with Penny and Damary to celebrate, with the church, Pat’s farewell after 38 years of serving. I also had a great birthday with teammates. I was able to share to some friends the creation story and Adam and Eve eating the forbidden fruit and its consequences in DAGBANI!! I then traveled with Damary to Accra. I had two funerals to attend. One for Linda (age 36) and one for Aunt Theresa (age 68). I went to the morgue and the burial sites. I cried with friends and families. I stayed next to them. I helped wherever I could.Going to Accra, as fun as it is, brings me home exhausted. That is mostly my fault. In the in-between days of funeral things, I really should have rested. It was definitely more emotionally draining than I thought it would be. Instead of resting, I would call someone up and visit. My friends Daniel and Doris always feed me so well. My other friend always knows the newest restaurant. Church had times of prayer, which were so encouraging. Apex had birthday celebrations and ballroom dancing. I had to check out a cheeseburger place. Like I can say NO???[gallery ids="3435,3436,3438,3437,3439,3440,3441,3442" type="rectangular"]Damary and I came back to Tamale on the bus. I am not excited to be here. There were certain thoughts going thru my head while in Accra.
- People love me here (arrogant, I know). The fact that if I wanted, I could stay out every night with friends filled my heart with appreciation and fullness.
- I have deep relationships here. I lived here for 11 years. The youth I worked alongside are now working, dating, married, or whatever and I had some good heart talks with them. I pray I encouraged them as much as they encouraged me.
- Everyone keeps asking about me getting married so then my mind hangs on to the “why am I not married??” and wondering if something is wrong. My mind then latches on to some guy and wonders “what if…” Not a good road to go down.
- People here can understand me. People here have a bit of understanding of where I am from. People here have more education and can talk with me on the same level.
- Maybe I should work back here in Accra…no way. Well, maybe…No, you would hate it. Actually, it is not that bad…No, Tamale is much more relaxed. And my mind goes on with all this back and forth.
As I am back home, I call Tamale home, even though it does not feel like home. I call it home hoping that one day it will be home. So here, at home, I pray I would love this place. It is not easy or have all the conveniences of Accra. I do not have many friends here. I have to work so hard just to progress one step further in my ministry.As I let my mind wander to other what ifs and what elses and fantasies of living some other place…I sensed the Spirit nudge me, “Sherri, love me more than your desires. Have I ever made you regret?”As the bus rolled into Tamale last night, I was reminded that so many of these people are living without Christ and they are dying without Christ. I know the joys of knowing God. I have him with me everyday. Why do I not want to share that with people who have no clue? Isn’t it worth more than what I feel I am missing? I know I am not the most amazing missionary. I know many times I don’t know what to say or what I am doing. I know somedays other people could really do this better than me, but for some reason God wants me here. And, so I will sacrifice my desires daily. (So, easy to type but executing is a different story) I will learn this language and love people here, though as I type this tears fall because I have already failed numerous times. I feel I cannot do this but I will persevere. I will go on even though tomorrow I could choose a road that would give me an easier life.Don’t feel bad for me. I serve a living Savior who walks with me and speaks to the deepest parts of my heart. Don’t feel bad for me because I can’t get real creamy ice cream, I can get fufu. Don’t feel bad for me because I am single, the Spirit fulfills all my needs. Don’t feel bad for me because I can’t go to the theater and watch an exciting movie, my life is an adventure.I need more reminders of Truth. Romans 8:6 So letting the sinful nature control your mind leads to death but letting the Holy Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.Life and Peace. It is what I have. It is what many of my neighbors don’t have. Father, help me share.