Last days

Last days, last drives with snow on the roads, last foods, last goodbyes. But many firsts a wait me. Like the first time arriving in Accra I will quarantine for 10 days. First time I will not go and run around and visit my friends. First time I will have someone grocery shop for me.

I sent out a prayer email for people to be praying for me, and I have at least 70 people walking with me, going to Ghana with me. This morning I woke up and had no worries, no “oh no! I forgot this”, no “what do I do if this doesn’t work out?” or butterflies in my stomach. And as I thought and praised God about it, I realized that every day since I sent out that prayer update my worry has lessened, my to do list has shortened, my complaints are quieter and my joy for returning has increased.

I don’t want to say I don’t believe it, because I do. I know it is because I have people praying for me. But there is a part of me that is like, “NO WAY!!!” I said to my aunties something like: if this is how God is going to be answering his people then, I am so excited to go!! What is God going to do these next few years?

Our world is unknown. When I say goodbyes to people, I wonder what they will be doing, or where they will be when I come back or if they will be closer to the Lord or farther away because of the circumstances that come around. And me too, what will my life be like in a few years or even a month??! I have my ideas, but really, I do not know. I do not know what COVID has done to the country, even though, I hear of very few deaths and people not wearing masks. I do not know what ministry will look like even though I have contacts and needs and ideas.  

So, since I cannot control any of this, since I cannot control how people are going to change with the world changing around us, since I cannot control my COVID test, or the airlines, I will let it go and not worry. Anne Graham Lotz says that worry is unbelief as it frets over things instead of trusting God completely. So, let’s just believe. Believe in God’s bigness. Believe in God’s love. Believe in God’s plans. Sounds cheesy. Maybe a bit too simple. But the Word says that worry is not going to add anything to your life. So, let’s keep it simple.

Love ya. Thanks for praying!